Question: I am in my 30s married with kids and work part time. Since before my marriage (about 15 years ago) I have always been somewhat moody, but I am not exactly sure why. At times I just want to go under the covers and don't want to have anything to do with anyone. Other times I am full of energy. Winters are particularly hard. A friend said that I might have bipolar disorder, but I am doing ok as a wife and as a mother and holding down a job. My life is not falling apart. Do I need to see a professional?

Moodiness is part of the human makeup. In fact, Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur I: 34) quotes from Rabbeinu Tam that we travel through the Yimei Ahava and Yimei Hasinah—times we are up and times that we are down. Rav Wolbe writes that awareness of this reality creates an acceptance of this reality, which mitigates much secondary guilt and heartache.

Having said that, I would recommend that you seek professional consultation for the following reasons.

Gain clarity. You seem confused as to the cause and nature of the moodiness. Is it standard moodiness or is it something more? Your description of your productive day-to-day functioning indicates that this is not full blown bipolar disorder. Those diagnosed with bipolar disorder experience cycles of mania (a state where one feels on top of the world with tremendous energy and can engage in irresponsible behavior) and depression to an extent that it creates significant interference in one’s functioning. Nevertheless there are lighter forms of bipolar or what is called cyclothymia, where a person experiences fluctuations in mood, but to a lesser extent. Your challenges can also be related to Seasonal Affective Disorder, a type of depression related to changes in seasons—particularly winter. The aforementioned conditions have a genetic basis and tend to occur more often amongst relatives of those diagnosed with mood-related challenges. Other factors that may play a role in your long-term moodiness include stress or trauma, other medications that you happen to be taking, or other medical conditions. Considering the above, it is recommended that you seek professional consultation to figure out what is happening. Your primary care physician may perform a series of tests to rule out a medical condition. A mental health professional will likely assess mood history as well as other factors to clarify the source. In any case, resolving this question and acquiring clarity will likely bring greater Menuchas Hanefesh.

Follow-up. Based on the information yielded from a consultation and subsequent recommendations, you can improve your day-to-day life. You may benefit from any number of recommendation including acceptance, medication, psychotherapy, and even light therapy (in the case of seasonal affective disorder). Psychotherapy may focus on stress management techniques, distress tolerance and emotion regulation skills. Sleep and exercise are always important, and particularly with those who struggle with moodiness. Much hatzlacha on this journey!

Chaim Neuhoff, Ph.D.

This article originally appeared in the Yated Ne'eman.