In Parshat Behar, we encounter the commandments to observe the Shemita and Yovel years, which emphasize the importance of balance and harmony in the land, society, and personal relationships. The parsha begins by sharing the location of the conversation between Hashem and Moshe Rabeynu, being Har Sinai. Using the psychological concept of having a balanced self-perception, we can delve into the lessons learned through the selection of this mountain for the dissemination of the torah.
The Midrash tells us that Har Sinai was the lowest in elevation of all the mountains and it was the chosen site for the revelation of the Torah, the ultimate source of wisdom and guidance for humanity, to teach us a lesson in humility. However, it seems paradoxical that if the lesson of humility needed to be taught, why not consider a valley or low depth. This seemingly paradoxical choice holds a profound lesson about balanced self-perception.
In psychology, balanced self-perception refers to having a realistic and accurate view of oneself, neither inflated with excessive pride nor diminished by unwarranted self-criticism. Balanced self-perception leads to improved mental health, increase resilience, enhanced performance, and increased assertiveness. Just as Har Sinai was humble yet monumental in significance, balanced self-perception involves acknowledging both one's strengths and limitations without exaggeration or denial. As American author Thomas Merton writes "Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real."
The humility of Har Sinai reminds us that greatness can be found in modesty. Similarly, in our personal development, embracing humility allows us to recognize that we are part of something greater than ourselves, whether it be our community, our faith, or our purpose. It is through humility that we become receptive to learning and growth, just as Bnei Yisrael were open to receiving the Torah. Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Father, 6:6 delineated qualities in the Torah greater than royalty and priesthood, citing humility as a key factor.
Har Sinai's role as the site of divine revelation highlights the immense potential within each of us. Despite its unassuming appearance, it became the conduit for the most profound spiritual teachings. Likewise, balanced self-perception encourages us to recognize and cultivate our unique talents and abilities, while remaining grounded and humble. The Rambam writes in Mishneh Torah 1:5 that a person should “separates himself from pride only to the extent that he reaches the middle path and displays humility…deeming this person a wise man.” This type of balance is not something we merely find, but something that must be cultivated.
Tips to increase a balanced self-perception:
- Practice Active Listening: Make a conscious effort to listen twice as much as you speak. Truly hear and consider the perspectives of others by being mindful that listening does not mean waiting to speak.
- Embrace Imperfection: Recognize that we learn from failure. Making mistakes and experiencing challenges is a natural part of being human. Instead of striving for faultlessness, focus on learning from setbacks and using them as opportunities for growth.
- Practice Gratitude: Cultivate a sense of gratitude for your accomplishments, talents, and blessings, while also recognizing the contributions of others. Gratitude helps us counteract feelings of entitlement or inadequacy, fostering a more balanced view of ourselves and the world around us.
The Rambam further describes humility is the intermediate between pride and meekness. By integrating humility with a recognition of our inherent worth, we achieve a balanced self-perception that fosters personal growth, resilience, and genuine connection with a greater purpose. Hashem chose Har Sinai for a reason, the humblest of mountains, providing us the lesson that our greatest insights and achievements can emerge from a place of humility and balanced self-perception.
Elan Javanfard, M.A., L.M.F.T. is a Consulting Psychotherapist focused on behavioral health redesign, a Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University, & a lecturer related to Mindfulness, Evidence Based Practices, and Suicide Prevention. Elan is the author of Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha & Psychology, weekly blog. He lives in Los Angeles Pico Robertson community with his wife and three children and can be reached at Elan.Javanfard@gmail.com.