A few weeks ago I was driving through Ohio on the I-80 West. Driving long distance in the winter can be treacherous because of the weather, but in the summer the construction can be almost as bad. I always try to think of the long term benefits maybe next time I drive this road it will be nice and smooth, but it always feels like next time the same road is perpetually under construction. Sometimes when construction gets too bad or if there is an accident, the mapping app on my phone will tell me to get off the exit and drive through a series of country roads before getting back on the highway. I always enjoy these little adventures, they insert some variety into an otherwise monotonous (and mountainous) drive. So I was pleasantly surprised when my phone told me to get off at the next exit. I looked up and sure enough the sign said construction ahead. But as I got closer I realized that the exit it was telling me to get off was closed. In fact the entire westbound side of the highway was closed for construction, and the traffic was routed onto the eastbound side of the road which now had one lane in each direction. But apparently my app didn't know this, so when I "missed" the exit it started giving me strange instructions like "turn left;" the only thing to my left was a concrete barrier. I realized that although my app was quite wise and I usually would be advised not to second guess it, in this case it was missing key information which made its well intentioned instructions less than helpful.

When we are in relationships we often serve as the GPS for our children, spouses, and friends. Sometimes they deviate from the path we envisioned for them, and often times our vision is correct. But we must also allow for the possibility that they have information that we don't. Perhaps our software hasn't been updated as recently, or they can see construction barrels that are beyond our recognition. 

Remember when GPS units first came out? You put in your destination and they gave you one series of directions to take. If you deviated from that path they would insist that you make a U turn and return to the original route. Sometimes it got so annoying that you would just turn it off, then you might miss important instructions later on in the trip.  In the second generation of GPSthey improved the technology, the directions would account for traffic and if you deviated from the route it would say re-calculating and give you a new route, a special route for those who couldn't stay on the preferred route. But now we have far more dynamic versions on our phones. The new apps are constantly updating the route based on live traffic data, and an algorithm that is trying to figure out my personal preferences based on past choices. It still brings me to the same destination in the fastest way; it starts with a route custom designed for me, and my needs, and this time. It will anticipate obstacles, but adjust if new ones come up and it will tell me when my choices are so far off that they will interfere with my stated goals, but it keeps me moving forward and doesn't dwell on my past decisions it helps guide me to the decisions I need to make to keep progressing toward my destination. 

I got through the construction and finally got home, but for some reason the phone app always makes the same mistake. It thinks my home is on a a one way street when in fact I can go either direction to get home. So despite what my phone tells me, I drive up to my house with my phone protesting, secure in the knowledge that I know more about my home than the most up to date, wisest, technological marvel on my dashboard. What a great reminder before I go inside and try to guide my loved ones to help them along their path.

Happy Connecting!

Menachem