Well, it seems like it's finally happening; after all of these surreal days and weeks and months, we are starting to reopen. But how do we prepare for a post-traumatic stress-flavored world?
With all the talk about reopening, we still find ourselves just as torn and conflicted as we’ve been for the past three months. Along with an ideological civil war acting as the icing on the pandemic cake.
The only consistent theme of this COVID-19 era is, perhaps, the inconsistency of it all. The lack of clarity, reliable data, and certainty about what is happening and what we need to do. That confusion, that helplessness, besides for the very real tragic and dangerous effects of this virus, have left many feeling destabilized.
There is little doubt that we, as a global community, have endured a collective trauma, compounded by yet another- a domino effect of an overloaded national nervous system. The coronavirus, which brought with it illness, death, and fear, compounded by the disruption to daily routines, schools, work, travel, and the economy was apocalyptic in its own right. It was then followed by the horrific, surround- sound broadcast of an officer choking a man to death, followed by an explosion of varied, polarizing expressions of fear, anger, hate, and violence, which has left most of us reeling.
Trauma can be defined as an event that leaves a profound impression. Trauma, especially when it results in PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder, can often be a root cause of many other common mental health diagnoses and symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, phobias, panic attacks, depression, anxiety, addiction, and eating disorders. Not everyone who experiences trauma will suffer from PTSD. And not everyone who has symptoms of PTSD can pinpoint a specific traumatic incident. In fact, pretty much every human being has had some experiences that are sometimes classified as “small t” or micro- trauma- events that might not be objectively acknowledged as unusual or impactful, but, nonetheless, can shape how we react to similar stimuli or triggers afterwards. Some examples of these subjective “small t traumas” might include public embarrassment by a teacher in front of a class, turbulence during an airline flight, or a memorable scene from a scary movie. It's possible that even the recent socio-political events and media coverage could be viewed as a global trauma.
Some experienced the coronavirus as a firsthand serious illness, or through the loss of a loved one. Others may not even know anyone personally who were sick or died, but still had their daily lives and routines disrupted through a mandatory lockdown. We were all more or less imprisoned in our homes for some length of time, unsure of whether we would have access to basic supplies, or if just how devastating the life toll of this pandemic would be. The obligatory hand-washing, face masks, gloves, and sanitizing of all objects entering our homes created a sense of necessary societal neurosis. The social distancing deprived us of the comfort of human interaction and touch. Children, suddenly deprived of their regular school routines, found themselves locked in with parents who weren’t given ample time to prepare for the task. Economic hardship and uncertainty compounded the public health fear, as the entertainment industry crumbled before our eyes. Prayer services, sports events, Broadway shows, movies, weddings, and conferences were cancelled, and many other businesses soon followed. Small businesses were destroyed. Life itself almost felt as if it were canceled.
Now finally, after these long, difficult months, we begin to try and breathe again. But how do we do that? What will this feel like for the children, who have learned the language of fear and avoidance? Or for the adults, who are still trying to recover their sanity, serenity, and financial loss? What about the marriages, taxed from overexposure and stress? Or the humans, who have grown accustomed to functioning from behind a screen? Or the businesses- the ones who were not deemed “essential” by those who didn’t need them?
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answers. As therapists, we keep getting invited to do virtual talks on topics such as “Dating During COVID,” “How to COVID-Proof Your Marriage,” “Homeschooling During a Global Crisis,” and “Parenting While Trying to Suddenly Work from Home”
I’ve tried to avoid speaking or writing authoritatively on these topics- simply because I honestly have no clue. It’s not like we, as mental health professionals, took a course in graduate school, or wrote research papers titled “Helping Society Function During a Pandemic.” There are literally no experts on these topics, and just there can’t be.
That being said, there have been other national and societal crises from which we can try to extrapolate coping tools, and that will definitely need to be explored and shared.
I think the name of the game is grace. We need to be patient with ourselves, our loved ones, the kids, our friends, relatives, and neighbors, the businesses, policy makers, and professionals, who are all just trying to get back up on wobbly legs. We need to just understand that this will be a gradual, bumpy, nonlinear process all around. And that if we embrace the mindset of trying to just put one foot in front of the other, steadying ourselves and supporting each other, allowing for emotional and logistical glitches along the way, we will slowly be able to rebuild, reconnect, and recreate a healing world, in more ways than one.