I have been spending some time with the mom of one of my clients discussing strategies that she can try to implement to improve her relationship with her son. Yesterday, we began to discuss the idea of setting aside some time for her to spend with her son, with the intention of showing him that he has value and is cared about. We continued to talk about how this can be implemented effectively so that my client would feel that his mommy deeply cares about him.

Suddenly, this mom’s calm affect shifted to a look of horror, and she stated that there is no way that she would be able to find the time during the busy Pesach prep season. She then comforted herself by saying that right after Pesach when “things are calm,” she will be able to find time to work on her relationship with her child.

The pre-pesach frenzy is one that I would imagine is common in most homes. The pesach prep to-do list is quite long: Cleaning, turning over the kitchen, shopping, cooking, kashering, buying new clothes, matzah and wine,are just a few of the many things that need to get done. And the stress is tangible. If one would observe the hustle and bustle of a frum home before Pesach, the wife/mother of the household would be seen giving out chores and responsibilities and making sure that everyone is staying on task.

Now imagine if in the context of Pesach stress, chaos, and anxiety, instead of Mommy asking her son for the hundredth time to clean out his knapsack, she would say, “ Moishe! How are you? What’s on your mind?” And now imagine if she would take a break from the Pesach focus and spend a couple of moments listening to him.

Yes, Pesach prep is extremely important and will occupy much of one’s time. However, dedicating a few moments for one’s child, especially during one of the busiest times of the year when there is lots to do,  would send a strong and powerful message that the child is important too.  The child may feel cared about  after Pesach when “things are calm,” but I wonder if the care will be felt as powerfully...