Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses deceitful business practices, such as feeding an animal in a certain way to make it temporarily appear more robust than it actually is, or grooming a slave and dyeing his hair so he will appear younger. Rav Yaakov Emden (Hagahos Ya’avetz, ibid) discusses if it is permitted for a woman of marriageable age to adorn herself with make-up and other cosmetics to appear pretty, and rules that it is permitted. He cites a Mishna (Nedarim 66a-66b) where Rabbi Yishmael plays matchmaker, and convinces a reluctant suitor to marry a woman whom he initially found unattractive. The Gemara tells us that he repaired her smile by replacing a missing tooth and this changed her appearance. Rav Emden cautions that it is only permitted to do ordinary cosmetic enhancements, but not to deliberately cover up a major blemish or flaw. (In that Mishna, she was given a gold tooth, so no one would mistake it for an original, but apparently in those days that was beautifying.
It appears, within the bounds of tznius, it is a Torah value for every woman to strive to maintain her attractiveness. In that same Mishna Nedarim (66a) Rabbi Yishmael bemoans how poverty has affected the beauty and radiance of Jewish daughters. This indicates that it is a worthy matter.
Lest one think this sensitivity is limited to young maidens, we find Rav Chisda making a point to his colleagues that even an elderly grandmother is expected to take steps to preserve her beauty (Gemara Moed Kattan 9b).
There are even situations where concerns about possible sin are bypassed to prevent a woman from becoming ugly in her husband’s eyes. See Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 195:9, as well as Gemara Bava Kama 82b where they permitted unsavory merchants of cosmetics to dispense their wares, so the women can be adorned and not become loathsome in their husband’s eyes.
The Gemara (Ta'anis 23b) tells us that the wife of Abba Chilkiya a great tsaddik and grandson of Choni Hameagel, would adorn and beautify herself in order to greet him when he came home. When a student inquired about the propriety of this behavior, he explained, “She does this in order that I not be tempted to look at other women.”
While perhaps in those times, there was a greater focus on female beauty and male temptation to sin, in today’s times men cannot afford to neglect their looks or appear ugly to their wives for the very same reasons. Therapists will tell you that the male-female infidelity gap is closing, and there are many women who also face temptation. One of Rabbi Avigdor Miller ZT’L’s famous Ten Commandments of Marriage was “Maintain Your Appearance - Do Not Look Slovenly”.
One of the great gifts of Judaism, is that though it promotes restraint and modesty, it never demands utter suppression of the basic pleasures of life, which most certainly includes enjoying being beautiful and seeing beauty in the right place and time.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation
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