Our Gemara on Amud Beis tells us the very strange story of how the Angel of Death mistakenly took the wrong person. He was supposed to take Miriam the Hairdresser but instead took Miriam the Nanny. The error came from the similarity of their names: Miriam Megadla Sear Miriam who braids hair, and Miriam who raises children Miriam Megadla dardeki.
Once the error is realized, it’s too late and both Miriams are taken by the Grim Reaper. Then, there is still a question of who takes the extra years that were lost from the “wrong” Miriam. The Angel of death is allowed to transfer the years to a rabbinic scholar who overcomes his pride and does not become reactive to insults.
Of course, this aggadic tale raises many more questions than we can answer. How in the world could it be fair that God’s messenger could make a clerical error and take the wrong person ? It is kind of ridiculous.
The Gemara itself offers its own answer, that Miriam the Dardeki was engaging in risky behavior. This is only a partial explanation, as how does this justify her death? We can presume it is based on the principle, אֵין הַשָּׂטָן מְקַטְרֵג אֶלָּא בְשָׁעַת הַסַּכָּנָה Satan accuses only in times of danger (Yerushalmi Shabbos 2:6). How is that fair, exactly? For this we turn to the Pele Yoetz (349) where he describes three kinds of circumstances and how they are affected by Providence:
And thus we find that an [interesting] inquiry arises. Since it is Hashem who determines death and life - what will the doctor add [by aiding to heal the patient]? Is it not so that if it was decreed [in Heaven] that one will die, even if all the doctors in the world arose to heal him, they would not be able to save him from death?
…However, the answer to this inquiry and to many others like it is that there are three different types of decrees - 1) If he is one that holds a special merit and his merit is strong - even if he doesn't have a doctor and he does things that will worsen his condition, he will not die and "live he will live". 2) And there are those, upon whom death is decreed - that is to say, even if he guarded himself with all protection in the world, his persistence of protecting himself is all in vain, and doctors will be of no help and he will not be saved. 3) However, there are those who, due to their sins, place themselves under the influence of "nature": - if they protect themselves and act with the proper cures according to nature - "live he will live" - he will surely live. - and if not they will die and on this type of person it is said "and there is death without judgment."
So Pele Yoetz is adding a philosophical texture to this idea. Namely, there are certain kinds of “punishments“ where a person is left subject to the whims of nature. Thus, a person may be in a situation where his physical and personal state is subject to the natural consequences of life. I suspect that many of us fall in this category.
The verses in Vayikra (26:21-24) also suggest this idea: “If you will consider these punishments as mere happenstance, so too, I will subject you to punishments of happenstance.” (See Abravanel Ibid 26:21.)
Psychologists have long noted that the worst punishment of all, for a child, is to be ignored. A child will instinctively do anything to get a reaction from his or her parents, even if it is a hostile reaction. No reaction at all brings on the terror of abandonment. The worst punishment, could be God forbid, to be abandoned by God.
Aside from the typical remedies available such as repentance and mindful attachment to God, perhaps our Gemara is also alluding to another potential remedy. In the story, who was the person who ultimately benefited from the extra years of life? This was the sage who was unusually humble and remained non-reactive even when being humiliated and insulted. Perhaps, by ignoring what is appropriate but extremely challenging to ignore, we can merit middah kneged middah that God not ignore us even if, justifiably, we deserve to be ignored.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation 
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