Our Gemara on Amud Aleph enumerates the ways in which Hashem shows kindness, and how we should emulate this in our conduct:
הַלֵּךְ אַחַר מִדּוֹתָיו שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מָה הוּא מַלְבִּישׁ עֲרוּמִּים דִּכְתִיב וַיַּעַשׂ ה׳ אֱלֹהִים לְאָדָם וּלְאִשְׁתּוֹ כׇּתְנוֹת עוֹר וַיַּלְבִּשֵׁם אַף אַתָּה הַלְבֵּשׁ עֲרוּמִּים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא בִּיקֵּר חוֹלִים דִּכְתִיב וַיֵּרָא אֵלָיו ה׳ בְּאֵלֹנֵי מַמְרֵא אַף אַתָּה בַּקֵּר חוֹלִים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא נִיחֵם אֲבֵלִים דִּכְתִיב וַיְהִי אַחֲרֵי מוֹת אַבְרָהָם וַיְבָרֶךְ אֱלֹהִים אֶת יִצְחָק בְּנוֹ אַף אַתָּה נַחֵם אֲבֵלִים הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא קָבַר מֵתִים דִּכְתִיב וַיִּקְבֹּר אוֹתוֹ בַּגַּי אַף אַתָּה קְבוֹר מֵתִים
One should follow the attributes of the Holy One, Blessed be He. He provides several examples. Just as He clothes the naked, as it is written: “And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21), so too, should you clothe the naked. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, visits the sick, as it is written with regard to God’s appearing to Abraham following his circumcision: “And the Lord appeared unto him by the terebinths of Mamre” (Genesis 18:1), so too, should you visit the sick. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, consoles mourners, as it is written: “And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that God blessed Isaac his son” (Genesis 25:11), so too, should you console mourners. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, buried the dead, as it is written: “And he was buried in the valley in the land of Moab” (Deuteronomy 34:6), so too, should you bury the dead.
But what about the other attributes of God? We know God can also mete out punishment and be vengeful. As it states (Shemos 34:6-7):
ה׳, הי א-ל רַח֖וּם וְחַנּ֑וּן אֶ֥רֶךְ אַפַּ֖יִם וְרַב־חֶ֥סֶד וֶאֱמֶֽת׃
נֹצֵ֥ר חֶ֙סֶד֙ לָאֲלָפִ֔ים נֹשֵׂ֥א עָוֺ֛ן וָפֶ֖שַׁע וְחַטָּאָ֑ה וְנַקֵּה֙ לֹ֣א יְנַקֶּ֔ה פֹּקֵ֣ד ׀ עֲוֺ֣ן אָב֗וֹת עַל־בָּנִים֙ וְעַל־בְּנֵ֣י בָנִ֔ים עַל־שִׁלֵּשִׁ֖ים וְעַל־רִבֵּעִֽים
Hashem, Hashem Almighty, merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in kindness and truth. He preserves kindness for thousands [of generations], bearing [forgiving] iniquity, transgression and sin. He clears [acquits the penitent] and he does not clear [acquit the impenitent], visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and children’s children, [even] upon the third and fourth [generation].”
We understand the divine name composed of Aleph-Lamed translated by some as Almighty, implies the strength of Middas Hadin. And of course, some of the other listed attributes toward the end if the list do not provide forgiveness under certain circumstances.
Ben Yehoyada quoting Pesach Einayim cleverly notes that our Gemara instructs us to follow “after” Hashem’s attributes. Similarly the verse in Devarim (13:5) says to follow “after” Hashem. אחרי השם אלקיכם תלכו. Ben Yehoyada says this instructs us to follow the ways of Hashem after the first Middos listed, that is the merciful Middos and not to judgemental ones.
All of us have difficulty relating to the perceived sins of others, be it our family members, children, or friends, without summoning up a sense of righteousness and judgment. It is not our fault. First of all, it is how we were parented, and necessarily so. There are points of development in a child’s life where he needs to be told unequivocally what is right and what is wrong. As he or she gets older, they should be encouraged to develop their own moral judgment and discernment, and we should focus on collaboration and dialogue mixed with appropriate discipline, but that is only after some internalization of right and wrong occurs. Secondly, if you look at the Torah as a model, we certainly see God employing, punishment, retribution, judgment, and vengefulness.
However, we should stop and think for a moment, we are not God. If God engages in such a manner, it is due to a perfect understanding of what people need at the time that they need it. We humans, who are subject to our own fears, anxieties and defenses, cannot be trusted to routinely mete out judgment and punishment, except under limited circumstances.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation 
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