The Gemara on Amud Aleph stated a well known psychoanalytic principle, which is a key factor in psychotherapeutic treatment, based on a verse in Mishley:

⁦The Gemara explains another verse in Proverbs: “If there is worry in a man’s heart, let him quash it [yashḥena]” (Proverbs 12:25). Rabbi Ami and Rabbi Asi dispute the verse’s meaning.

The simple peshat as is evidenced from the context of the verse which you can look up, and the masoretic pronunciation is He should forcefully push it [yasḥena] out of his mind. One who worries should banish his concerns from his thoughts. 

But as often is the case when it comes to Torah SheB’aal Peh and Midrashim, a more nuanced and less harsh idea emerges. 

The Gemara quotes another opinion on the verse, it means he should tell [yesiḥena] others his concerns, which will lower his anxiety.  

Research tells us that different people have different coping styles. When facing distress, some people pull into themselves and isolate, while others seek connection . Neither is intrinsically unhealthy though it’s important to recognize that in different situations in life, one approach might bring more relief than another. Also, one should respect each individual’s coping style, and not make someone “talk it out”, if they do not want to.

The Be’er Mayyim Chayyim באר מים חיים בראשית  מד:י״ח Explains this principle beautifully:

He says that when a person discharges their aggressive intentions and feelings, it often forestalls the need to actually act out on it.  He goes on to say, as we have noted many times in our Psychology of the Daf discussions, there are archetypes of human behavior that are reflected in the Divine.  Thus, when God is angry and tells Moshe that he wants to destroy the Jewish people, and then Moshe prays and God forgives, it is not as if God changed His mind.  Actually, by God expressing His anger, as it were, God is discharging the aggression already and that might be enough. Thus the appropriate and mindful discharge of pent up aggression, as well as the facing and accepting of painful truths, allows the organism to move forward and not remain stuck in emotional conflict.

In fights, sometimes people make the mistake of taking the expressed wish and emotion as conclusive, when actually though said in that manner, may mean something else emotionally.  “I don’t want to ever see you again!” May really mean, “I want you to take me seriously AS IF I don’t want to ever see you again. Actually, I want you to fight for this relationship.”

There is a remarkable Aggadah that casts God as a scorned angry spouse, who behaves in the manner we have been discussing. God’s behavior is so extreme and anthropopathic that the Talmud declares it would be heresy to say it, if not for the scripture having done so. The Talmud (Berachos 32a) relates the process by which Moses tried to appease God after the sin of the Golden Calf:

And once God said to Moses: “Leave Me be, that I may destroy them” (Deuteronomy 9:14). Moses said to himself: If G-d is telling me to let Him be, it must be because this matter is dependent upon me. Immediately Moses stood and was strengthened in prayer, and asked that God have mercy on the nation of Israel and forgive them for their transgression.

The Gemara says: This is comparable to a king who became angry at his son who had sinned against him, and beat him, administering a severe beating. At that moment, a well-wisher of the king was sitting before him and witnessed the entire event, and was afraid to say anything to the king about the excessive beating. Meanwhile, the king said to his son: Were it not for this well-wisher of mine who is sitting before me, I would have killed you. Upon hearing this, the king’s friend said to himself: This is clearly a sign that this matter, rescuing the son from the hands of his father, is dependent upon me. Immediately he stood and rescued him from the king. 

In an additional aspect of the sin of the Golden Calf, God told Moses: “Now leave Me be, that My wrath will be enraged against them and I will consume them; and I will make of you a great nation” (Exodus 32:10). Explaining this verse, Rabbi Abbahu said: Were the verse not written in this manner, it would be impossible to utter it, in deference to God. The phrase: Leave Me be, teaches that Moses grabbed the Holy One, Blessed be He, as a person who grabs his friend by his garment would, and he said before Him: Master of the Universe, I will not leave You be until You forgive and pardon them.”

This illustrates the scorned and betrayed spouse Archetype. God tells Moses to leave him alone, just as many angry spouses say “I will never forgive you.”, which as with God and Moses, it means “Prove to me that you won’t give up!” The betrayed spouse wants to be taken seriously, but not always by ending the relationship.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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