Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us an anecdote where Rami Bar Chamah noticed that his landlord appeared sad. He inquired of him, and ended up hearing about a mistake he made in business, and was able to offer him halachic guidance.

 

Noticing that a person is sad is an important factor in emotional intelligence. Being attuned enough to notice a person’s face or other subtle expressions allows for important opportunities to assist a person, as well as catch situations where a person’s feelings might be hurt but they lack assertiveness to stand up for themselves. A person might superficially agree to something because they lack the confidence or even the intellectual clarity to explain a nuanced, subjective reason for not being fully on board. It is especially important to watch out for this dynamic in relationships of unequal power, such as teacher to student, boss to employee, parent to child, and in some cases, a more dominant or aggressive spouse toward the other.

 

We find halacha reflects a similar sentiment in Mishna Sanhedrin (4:2), whereby deliberations in capital cases start with the less senior judges, so that they will not feel intimidated. Keep in mind, these were learned scholars and we still fear they might feel intimidated. We also find a ruling that even though judges in monetary disputes are not supposed act as advocates or show favoritism, if a judge senses that the person is flustered, he can help him compose his argument (Shulchan Aruch CM 17:9).    

 

There are also two Biblical references which show that moral and intelligent people possess the curiosity and attunement to notice another person, which in each story, in its own way, brought about redemption. Yosef notices that the Chief Wine Steward and the Chief Baker had anguished faces (Bereishis 40:7), which led to his redemption from jail, and ultimately rescuing his family and that entire part of the world from famine. We also find in Nechemia (2:2) that King Atarshasacha noticed Nechemia’s unhappiness and inquired, which led to the rebuilding of the second Bais Hamikdash.  If you see something, say something.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation cool

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