Our Gemara on Amud Beis initiates the discussion on the laws of Eishes Yefas Toar, a woman taken captive during war, and the permissibility of marrying her. Given the intense and primal urges that often emerge during the heat of battle, the Torah, rather than tolerating rampant sexual violence in wartime, outlines specific conditions under which a captive woman may be taken as a wife.
The Sages taught: Concerning a captive, the verse states: "And sees among the captives," indicating that this law applies only when he notices her during her captivity. The term "a woman" implies that even if she is married, she is permitted. The phrase "a beautiful woman" suggests that the Torah introduced this law only in response to the evil inclination, acknowledging that his desire is due to her physical beauty. But why does the Torah permit this?
The Gemara goes on to explain that the reasoning behind this permission is to provide a controlled outlet in situations that would otherwise result in more severe and abusive violations.
One of the conditions outlined is that this interaction must be spontaneous, not premeditated. Various opinions exist regarding the halakhic interpretation, but in essence, it must be a response to an immediate circumstance. This understanding is derived from the phrase "and you shall see her among the captives," indicating a spontaneous and immediate reaction.
Arvei Nachal (Bereishis 5:49), influenced by Chassidic theology that views even negatives as containing sparks of good, suggests that the captive woman serves both as a metaphor and a reality. In life, actions that might seem wrong or sinful under certain circumstances can be redeemed or turned into something positive. Even in the case of the actual captive woman, though her circumstances are typically morally reprehensible, she might embody a hidden spark of a Jewish soul that seeks redemption. He further explains that the desire for the woman, as mentioned in the verses, is to "bring her into the home." This indicates that the desire is not solely for a sexual encounter but also for a deeper connection as a wife. If this instinctual desire is immediate upon seeing her, it might indicate the potential for a spiritual redemption by bringing her into their home.
Although contemporary practices have evolved beyond these considerations, the concept speaks to the idea that attraction between two individuals can extend beyond mere physical lust, signifying a profound soul connection. While discerning between a superficial crush and a deeper connection might be challenging, feelings should not be disregarded.
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation 
Do you like what you see? Please subscribe and also forward any articles you enjoy to your friends, (enemies too, why not?)