Rashi (“Roshei Chadashim”) on this daf and other Rishonim refer to the custom that women do not work on Rosh Chodesh. The origin of this custom stems from Pirke DeRabbi Eliezer (45) which notes a discrepancy in the verses of Shemos 32:2 and 3. Aharon suggests that they take the gold earrings from their wives, children and sons but the verse reports what happened, it states only “their rings”, implying that only the men offered their rings. According to Pirke DeRabbi Eliezer the women refused to cooperate. They said, “Why make a graven image who has no power to save us!” It was from that event that women merited a special holiday.

Let us meditate on this important archetype and pattern of human behavior. I can just see and imagine it! The men, rushing for some quick solution to the problem of the absence of a leader. They can’t imagine a moment without some alpha male thumping his chest and being in charge. So, they have to get themselves a divine emissary immediately. They have this “great idea” to make a Golden Calf to fix everything.. The Women are more skeptical. They say, “Hold on a minute. You all are rushing to a solution that is not much of a solution. We don’t buy into this and we refuse to cooperate.”

Sometimes we become hot on a certain idea and when our spouse objects we see them as interfering, and holding us back from our grand destiny. However, sometimes a spouse, often a female, has a particular clarity because they are not in the pressurized situation of trying to solve every problem. It is wise to stop and listen.

This archetype repeated itself another time in the generation of the wilderness. The Gemara (Sanhedrin 109b-110a) tells us how On ben Peles’ wife saved him from being, literally, sucked into Korach’s fate:

⁦Rav says: On, son of Peleth, did not repent on his own; rather, his wife saved him. She said to him: What is the difference to you? If this Master, Moses, is the great one, you are the student. And if this Master, Korah, is the great one, you are the student. Why are you involving yourself in this matter? On said to her: What shall I do? I was one of those who took counsel and I took an oath with them that I would be with them. She said to him: I know that the entire assembly is holy, as it is written: “For all the assembly is holy” (Numbers 16:3), and they observe the restrictions of modesty. She said to him: Sit, for I will save you. She gave him wine to drink and caused him to become drunk and laid him on a bed inside their tent. She sat at the entrance of the tent ⁦and exposed her hair as though she were bathing. Anyone who came and saw her stepped back. In the meantime the assembly of Korah was swallowed into the ground, and On, son of Peleth, was spared.

It is so important to listen to the ones we love, especially when we find them to be a pain in the neck and holding us back from our next grand scheme.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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