Our Gemara on Amud Aleph tells us :

⁦From where is it derived that the teacher should not sit on a couch and teach his disciple while he is sitting on the ground? It is as it is stated: “But as for you, stand here with Me,” (Deuteronomy 5:26–27)  which indicates that the teacher and his disciples should be in the same position.

What a wonderful source for the idea that a rebbe should also show a degree of respect for his students!

While we are noticing this verse, there is a Gemara (Yevamos 62a) which uses this verse to explain how Moshe was justified in being celibate.

⁦The Gemara clarifies: When Moses separated from his wife after the revelation at Sinai, what did he interpret that led him to do so? He said: If in the case of Israel, with whom the Divine Presence spoke only temporarily and for whom God set a specific time for revelation, the Torah stated: “Do not approach a woman” (Exodus 19:15), I, Moses, who am set aside for divine speech all the time and for whom God did not set a specific time, all the more so I must separate from my wife. And his perception agreed with the perception of the Omnipresent, as it is stated after the revelation at Sinai: “Go say to them: Return to your tents; and you, stand here with Me” (Deuteronomy 5:26–27). This indicates that whereas others could return to their homes and normal married life after the revelation at Sinai, Moses was to stay with God and not return to his wife.

To summarize, the Gemara tells us that at first Moshe applied his own reasoning to decide that he should separate from Tziporah, and then we find that Hashem endorsed his choice. Tosafos (op cit)  raises a question and offers an answer with serious theological implications:

Tosafos asks if we find that God agreed to Moshe’s actions, and that part of the verses were already derived from God’s statement, “You, stay with me”, why were Aharon and Miriam so critical of his choice to be celibate?  You might expect Tosafos to answer somehow Aharon and Moshe were unaware of this teaching or this derash, however Tosafos says something incredible. He said, “Bderech Sheodom Leylech Molichin Oso”, the way in which a person wants to go, so he is led.

Amazingly, Tosafos tells us that Aharon and Miriam were non-plussed that Hashem justified Moshe’s choice because they believed that Hashem allowed Moshe to go in the direction that he wanted to go.  Now, this is very deep.  Moshe had a certain spiritual inclination, and because of that God approves it as well. However, according to Tosafos here is the thrust of Aharon’s and Miriam’s argument, “The cost of this choice of celibacy is too great.  After all, we too are prophets.  Sure, God agreed with your actions, but that is because you put yourself in a particular spiritual state where this choice was right for you.  But if you would have worked on yourself to understand other ways to be spiritual and still a family man, God would have granted you assistance to achieve that as well!”

Whoa, this is unbelievable!  Now of course, in the end Moshe was vindicated and God criticizes Aharon and Miriam for assuming that Moshe was on a similar spiritual level to them, as described in Bamidbar chapter 12.  Also see Maharshal on Tosafos ibid who explains that even in regard to the idea of “the way in which a person wants to go, so he is led”, Moshe was given special guidance. )  Yet, we still must integrate this idea on some level.  When Hashem gives a person a sign, and possibly a prophetic insight, it will be along the person’s abilities and even in accordance with the person’s foibles.     

Take a moment to digest this message about love and acceptance in relationships and parenting.  God, who is omniscient, will still provide guidance along the lines of the person’s development and not in accordance with what is strictly correct.  If so, how can we as parents and spouses not be accepting and ready to work with our family as they are, and not as we want them to be?

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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