What does it mean to be comfortable with yourself? People strive to become confident, lacking in undue shame, to feel complete and calm.   

The Gemara on Amud aleph discusses verse and prophecies that refer to Messianic times:

אֶלָּא, לֹא כְּאַבְרָהָם שֶׁכָּתוּב בּוֹ ״הַר״, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״אֲשֶׁר יֵאָמֵר הַיּוֹם בְּהַר ה׳ יֵרָאֶה״, וְלֹא כְּיִצְחָק שֶׁכָּתוּב בּוֹ ״שָׂדֶה״, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וַיֵּצֵא יִצְחָק לָשׂוּחַ בַּשָּׂדֶה״, אֶלָּא כְּיַעֲקֹב שֶׁקְּרָאוֹ ״בַּיִת״, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וַיִּקְרָא אֶת שֵׁם הַמָּקוֹם הַהוּא בֵּית אֵל״.

Rather, the verse specifically mentions Jacob to allude to the fact that the Temple will ultimately be described in the same way that Jacob referred to it. It will not be referred to as it was referred to by Abraham. It is written of him that when he prayed at the location of the Temple mountain, he called it mount, as it is stated: “As it is said on this day: On the mount where the Lord is seen” (Genesis 22:14). And it will not be referred to as it was referred to by Isaac. It is written of him that he called the location of the Temple field when he prayed there, as it is stated: “And Isaac went out to meditate in the field” (Genesis 24:63). Rather, it will be described as it was referred to by Jacob, who called it house, as it is stated: “And he called the name of that place Beth-El” (Genesis 28:19), which means house of God.

There is something about this analysis that I find emotionally moving.  Avraham is the mountain.  He had to overcome cultural barriers that could not accept his message.  He stood way up on a mountain and tried to shout down to everyone hoping they could get it.  Yitschok could already come down a bit from the mountain and engage in the field.  However, Yaakov was the one to bring it home.

In our lives, sometimes we are so far out there we are still struggling to climb the mountain.  If we achieve some success and peace of mind, we may just be in the field.  Yet, there is also a final place, the home, where we really can be whom we want to be and even need to be. 

How do we find our way back home?  The answer is inside us, not outside.  Mishle (14:10) tells us, 

“לֵ֗ב י֭וֹדֵעַ מָרַּ֣ת נַפְשׁ֑וֹ

The heart alone knows its bitterness

And, (ibid 20:5)

מַ֣יִם עֲ֭מֻקִּים עֵצָ֣ה בְלֶב־אִ֑ישׁ

The counsel in a man’s mind are deep waters

We can find ourselves by listening to ourselves.  The Gemara (Niddah 30b) tells us we learned everything in utero, and we only need to rediscover it. The deepest truths are hiding in plain sight if we would only look for it genuinely.  It is hard work sometimes, but well worth it.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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