Shabbos 137
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן, הַמָּל אוֹמֵר: ״אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל הַמִּילָה״. אֲבִי הַבֵּן אוֹמֵר: ״אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ לְהַכְנִיסוֹ בִּבְרִיתוֹ שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ״. הָעוֹמְדִים אוֹמְרִים: ״כְּשֵׁם שֶׁנִּכְנַס לַבְּרִית, כָּךְ יִכָּנֵס לְתוֹרָה לְחוּפָּה וּלְמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים״.
The Sages taught in a Tosefta that one who circumcises a child recites: Who has made us holy through His commandments, and commanded us concerning circumcision. The father of the circumcised child recites: Who has made us holy through His commandments, and commanded us to bring him into the covenant of Abraham, our father. Those standing there recite: Just as he has entered into the covenant, so may he enter into Torah, marriage, and good deeds.
for Video Shiur click here to listen: Psychology of the DAF Shabbos 137
Notice the order, in that good deeds comes after marriage and Torah. This is not just to be understood simply that it is a test, to learn how to live with others, with a spouse and children, but rather it is a transformation if we are willing to take in the “otherness” of the people in our life. This accepting and learning from otherness is not a burden or test to pass, but rather an opportunity to learn something about ourselves that we miss without seeing ourselves reflected in the others.
Notice repetition in ברכת החדש
חַיִּים שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶם יִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם וְיִרְאַת חֵטְא, חַיִּים שֶׁאֵין בָּהֶם בּוּשָׁה וּכְלִמָּה, חַיִּים שֶׁל עשֶׁר וְכָבוֹד, חַיִּים שֶׁתְּהֵא בָנוּ אַהֲבַת תּוֹרָה וְיִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם
The second fear of heaven only comes after love of Torah. That is, not just growing through a test, such as the first fear of heaven from fear of sin, but coming to love Torah. That is coming to thirst for and take in new experiences and what we must learn to be fully present in this world and in the next.
for Video Shiur click here to listen: Psychology of the DAF Shabbos 137
Photo by Matteo Maretto on Unsplash
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria
Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation 
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