NEFESH: The International Network of Orthodox Mental Health Professionals
Pathways for Modern Times
Michael Milgraum
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I offer psychological insights and understanding to help frum Jews navigate the complexities of 21st century life.
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Showing Results 1 - 9 (9 total)
You, Me, We: A Jewish Teenager's Guide to Identity and Belonging
Author: Michael Milgraum
May 7th, 2023

Introductory Note: This post, which has also been released as a printed booklet (to order: https://www.youmeweyouth.org/), is designed to give teens and preteens guidance as they encounter intense and confusing messages from the world that surrounds them. These days, we hear, through every channel of communication, messages encouraging young people to examine and reexamine their feelings about gender, attractions and relationships. The messa …
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Stand Up Tall!
Author: Michael Milgraum
February 2nd, 2022

Stand up Tall! The Talmud teaches something so powerful, so compelling, that I think it is imperative that everyone, especially in this day and age, should be aware of it. The teaching arises from something that seems extremely dry and technical, but, if understood properly, is so much more than that. The teaching is simply this: The ancient measurement called an amma (approximately the length of the forearm) has two possible definitions&mda …
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“Sexuality, Relationships and Gender– Some Uncommon Sense;” New Blog Launched
Author: Michael Milgraum
August 3rd, 2022

The revolutions in gender and relationships that we see all around us are a great cause of concern for many people. In my own psychology practice, Jewish and Non-Jewish patients are bringing up these topics in therapy. Many of these patients feel that society is demanding that they embrace and affirm a way of life that they cannot relate to and that is not congruent with their values. In the world at large, many people feel that their most b …
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A Parent’s Guide for Responding to the Transgender-Identifying Child; Book Review of Desist, Detrans and Detox by Maria Keffler
Author: Michael Milgraum
September 2nd, 2022

For the past year, a certain idea has been percolating in my head: There really needs to be a guidebook for the rapidly expanding numbers of parents whose adolescent or preadolescent child suddenly, and out of the blue, announces that they are transgender. I was aware that there already was good material out there distinguishing the extremely rare psychiatric condition of gender dysphoria from the social tidal wave of young people adopting a tran …
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Parental Rights versus Parent Responsibilities: What Is a Healthy Custody Schedule for Infants and Toddlers?
Author: Michael Milgraum
May 7th, 2023

I recently appeared before a Bais Din to provide expert testimony as a psychologist in a child custody dispute. As is regrettably far too common today, the parties in dispute were a young couple who had divorced after a short marriage. They had a one-year-old son. The father was pressing to equalize the time that the child spent between the parents, including a demand for multiple overnights each week.    The mother had a number of conc …
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Gender Dysphoria: The Facts versus the Myths
Author: Michael Milgraum
February 2nd, 2022

  The Torah unequivocally teaches us that our gender is not only a biological reality but part and parcel of the unique, holy mission designated for every Jew. Thus, a transgender lifestyle is highly discordant with the sensibilities of a Torah Jew. What is even more unsettling to our sensibilities is the explosion of interest in and encouragement of transgender lifestyles that has developed in the secular world over the last ten years. This …
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Free Will, Fate and Mental Health
Author: Michael Milgraum
August 18th, 2022

Of all the professions, the issue of free will is particularly compelling for psychotherapists.  Patients can come to the therapist with a great variety of destructive habits and poor choices.  Understanding the underlying causes of these problems may be of value, but actually overcoming resistance to change is where the real challenge lies.  Psychologists are constantly exploring the power of free will, as well as the limits of fr …
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Correction to Gender Dysphoria Article
Author: Michael Milgraum
August 2nd, 2022

Correction: In a previous version of my article Gender Dysphoria: The Facts versus the Myths (which appears as a post on this blog), I made reference to a research study that found increased rates of psychiatric hospitalizations and increased suicide risk after medically assisted gender transition. My statement was based on a misunderstanding of the study. This study, which was a long-term follow-up one in Sweden, did not actually …
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All You Need to do is Try
Author: Michael Milgraum
June 10th, 2022

I write this essay on the afternoon before Rosh Hashanah.  Rosh Hashanah is the day that Hashem scrutinizes all our deeds and judges what our reward or, God forbid, punishment will be in the upcoming year.  Sometimes Hashem sends you reminders of where you stand and what He wants from you.  I think I have been receiving these hints over the past two days.   Two days ago, my brother emailed me a short video.  It told a sto …
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