She didn’t stand up to cheer, she didn’t place her hand on her heart during the national anthem, she didn’t smile. We are talking about a world champion, Gabby Douglas. She accomplished so much by working for hours a day to perfect her skills. It is true that putting yourself in the public spotlight opens you up to be scrutinized by others. What is the limit though? The last Olympics were about her hair. Does this end?
On the other hand, Simone Biles is perfect. She is always cheerful, able to perform moves that other gymnasts don’t even attempt. She was expected to win five gold medals. One of those five ended up being bronze after she fell on the beam. She had a difficult childhood until she was in foster and then adopted by her grandparents. The only negative feedback about her was from one of the radio announcer who refused to call her grandparents her parents. Simone responded by saying “my parents are my parents and that’s it.” Everyone was on her side.
A large percentage of the world decided that Simone is flawless and that Gabby has a sour personality. Did anyone stop to think that this is as a high pressure moment and that everyone reacts differently? Simone lost her balance, therefore “only” receiving a bronze medal. Her coach said, “she is human” and the conversation ended there. Aly was pretty serious too, as was Maddy. Why is everyone picking on Gabby? In 2012, she was picked on because of her hair. Her hair! Really! Knowing that lots of the world is bashing her definitely could’ve affected her performance this year as she only received one medal and more was expected based on her abilities.
As people, we are very much effected or could be effected by what others think of us. When someone has a low self-esteem to begin with, hearing about what they do wrong or will do wrong is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Here, they were looking for negative things to say. They didn’t point out she cheered for her teammates while sitting. They didn’t say Madison wasn’t as cheerful as Laurie while standing. They didn’t say she was standing at attention, holding her hands in front of her. They didn’t say many other competitors smiled for the audience after their routine and then turned serious again. Many smiles were “forced.”
The bottom line is that when people use line, “Don’t let others rent space in your head,” this is a perfect example. It could be hard to understand why others feel the need to put you down. The fact is, there are many people who do this. They have a negative attitude in life, always looking for the one thing that is wrong with others. What does that show about them? These people do exist though. You need to make sure to get on with your life and focus on your goals. You definitely won’t reach your goals, thinking about how they don’t want you to succeed or have reasons you shouldn’t make it in life. You don’t need to try being the best at something. The only thing that matters is trying to be your best!
Zahavah Fishfeld, LMHC is a licensed therapist who focuses on relationships, self-esteem and self growth. She offers a phone consultation as well as sessions in person and through video. Her offices are located in Flatbush and Crown Heights. She can be reached at 845-596-1321 and zahavahsel@gmail.com.