Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said: A person should never express a crude matter, as the formulation of a verse was distorted by the addition of eight letters rather than have it express a crude matter, as it is stated: “From the pure animals and from the animals that are not pure [asher einena tehora]” (Genesis 7:8). To avoid using the Hebrew term for impure [teme’a], which is four letters: Tet, mem, alef, heh, the verse replaced the term with the euphemism meaning “that are not pure,” which is spelled with twelve letters: Alef, shin, reish; alef, yod, nun, nun, heh; tet, heh, reish, heh.

אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן לֵוִי: לְעוֹלָם אַל יוֹצִיא אָדָם דָּבָר מְגוּנֶּה מִפִּיו, שֶׁהֲרֵי עִקֵּם הַכָּתוּב שְׁמוֹנֶה אוֹתִיּוֹת, וְלֹא הוֹצִיא דָּבָר מְגוּנֶּה מִפִּיו. שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״מִן הַבְּהֵמָה הַטְּהוֹרָה וּמִן הַבְּהֵמָה אֲשֶׁר אֵינֶנָּה טְהֹרָה

Even so, that is only a one time event to teach the lesson of maintaining pure speech so long as there is no loss of clarity, brevity or understanding.  As the Gemara then asserts:

The Gemara asks: But isn’t the word impure written in the Torah? Apparently, the Torah does not consistently employ euphemisms, and indeed the word impure appears regularly. Rather, anywhere that two phrases are equal in length, the verse speaks employing a euphemism. Anywhere that the words of the euphemism are more numerous, requiring a lengthier description, the Torah speaks employing concise language, in accordance with that which Rav Huna said that Rav said, and some say it was Rav Huna who said that Rav said in the name of Rabbi Meir: A person should always teach his student in a concise manner.

וּבְאוֹרָיְיתָא מִי לָא כְּתִיב ״טָמֵא״? אֶלָּא: כֹּל הֵיכָא דְּכִי הֲדָדֵי נִינְהוּ — מִשְׁתַּעֵי בְּלָשׁוֹן נְקִיָּה, כֹּל הֵיכָא דִּנְפִישִׁין מִילֵּי — מִשְׁתַּעֵי בְּלָשׁוֹן קְצָרָה. כִּדְאָמַר רַב הוּנָא אָמַר רַב, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ, אָמַר רַב הוּנָא אָמַר רַב מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי מֵאִיר: לְעוֹלָם יִשְׁנֶה אָדָם לְתַלְמִידוֹ דֶּרֶךְ קְצָרָה

This principle is important to keep in mind when it comes to providing sex education at age appropriate levels to your children.  It is nearly impossible to read a chapter in the Torah or the Gemara without encountering material that requires understanding of sexuality. Teaching sexuality at age appropriate levels is a part of learning Torah. Furthermore, there are prohibitions and Commandments that cannot be fulfilled without explicit instruction, and certainly cannot be fulfilled properly without explicit instruction. If you want to teach a child about how to manage is a her sexual impulses, and you are afraid to discuss masturbation explicitly,  you are not giving your child the proper tools.   Saying the Torah doesn't want us to think sexual thoughts or touch ourselves "down there" is about as helpful as giving a brand new teenage driver a 500HP sports car and saying the Torah doesn't want you to get into a car accident.  Parents need to provide a realistic and compassionate philosophy of how to manage sexual impulses.  Clinicians will also tell you that children have been sexually abused but unable to explain to their parents, (and even themselves!), what is happening because they lack a vocabulary to describe the process and identify what is wrong about it. 

Some people feel I don't want to put ideas it to my child's head. I think it's about time we woke up and realize that this is 2020 and there are platforms for interactions that we don't even know about the teenagers are using.  it is enough to make us long for the old days where it just was pornography or Facebook. (Anybody out there still remember Myspace?) Do you know that there is an app where two strangers can randomly be connected to each other by video? Their young boys and girls connecting with strangers of any age, live at any time of the day. Do not tell me that Bais Yaakov girls and Yeshiva boys are not doing this, because some of them in my office are telling me that they are.

Others feel that this is somehow a violation of halakha to discuss sexuality for the purposes of education.  It seems that this Gemara disagrees. In addition, in terms of the possibility of arousal, the Ezer Mikodesh Raises this question in general: How does one study Torah which has various explicit sexual technicalities without violating the prohibition against of thinking about sexual matters? He answers as follows:

"No young unmarried student should hold himself back from studying from the holy books topics that can possibly cause sexual thoughts as found in the many laws that relate to marriage and women....As long as it is in the manner and form that it is written in the holy books there is no grounds for concern or fear of even a remote violation the prohibitions against obscenity or causing lust....The prohibition against thinking sexual thoughts...is not defined to include a transient thought that occurs in passing....and, [subsequent to this transient thought,] anyone who changes his train of thought to the best of his ability has no violation whatsoever, for the holy Torah was not given to angels.  [This prohibition is only referring to when] a person dwells on sexual thoughts and awakens lust in his soul with images in his imagination....This behavior makes an impression on the person's character to awaken in him, God forbid, a chance to be drawn to commit sexual immorality or a nocturnal emission...and only this kind of sexual thought is forbidden, not anything else."  (Ezer Mekodesh, Shulchan Aruch, E.H. 23:3.)

for Video Shiur click here to listen:  Psychology of the DAF Pesachim 3

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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