2-Hour Agenda
Segment 1 — Introduction & Framing the Clinical Relevance of Romance Fiction (15 minutes)
Topics
• Why romance matters clinically
• Common misconceptions about romance readers
• Bibliotherapy and narrative meaning-making
• Romance novels as emotional and erotic rehearsal spaces
• Setting a nonjudgmental framework for discussing fantasy and pleasure
Guided Discussion
• What assumptions do clinicians commonly hold about romance novels?
• Why might clients feel safer discussing fantasy through fictional characters rather than directly about themselves?
• How do shame and cultural messaging shape discussions of pleasure?
Mini Activity
Reflection Prompt (Individual + Pair Share)
Participants reflect on:
“What narratives about pleasure, romance, desire, or fantasy did you absorb growing up?”
Optional pair/share discussion on how cultural narratives influence clinical work.
Segment 2 — Core Relational Needs, Attachment, and Fantasy (25 minutes)
Topics
• Attachment and eroticism
• Core relational needs:
o Being chosen
o Emotional safety
o Desire and desirability
o Being understood
o Novelty/adventure
o Repair and reassurance
o Vulnerability and acceptance
• Fantasy as symbolic rather than literal
• Emotional vs sexual fantasy
Clinical Concepts
• Fantasy as a window into emotional needs
• Distinguishing fantasy from expectation
• The role of imagination in long-term desire
Guided Discussion
• What emotional needs frequently emerge in romance narratives?
• How do fantasies communicate longing, safety, power, or validation?
• How can therapists normalize fantasy without pathologizing it?
Activity
Fantasy Translation Exercise
Participants receive example fantasy statements and identify:
• Possible underlying attachment/core needs
• Emotional themes
• Potential clinical interventions
Example:
“I want someone who takes control.”
Possible themes:
• Relief from cognitive load
• Safety
• Desire to feel pursued
• Permission to surrender
• Emotional containment
Segment 3 — Sexual Script Theory and Romance Narratives (20 minutes)
Topics
• Sexual Script Theory:
o Cultural scripts
o Interpersonal scripts
o Intrapsychic scripts
• How romance fiction reinforces, challenges, or expands scripts
• Scripts around gender, initiation, communication, and pleasure
• Diversity and inclusivity in contemporary romance
Guided Discussion
• Which scripts commonly appear in mainstream romance?
• Which scripts may be healing? Which may be limiting?
• How can clinicians help clients critically engage with erotic media?
Activity
Script Mapping Exercise
Small groups analyze a common romance trope (e.g., friends-to-lovers, forced proximity, grumpy/sunshine, second chance romance).
Participants identify:
• Attachment themes
• Power dynamics
• Communication patterns
• Desire/arousal elements
• Potential therapeutic relevance
Segment 4 — Using Romance Novels in Clinical Practice (30 minutes)
Topics
• Bibliotherapy interventions
• Suggested clinical applications:
o Couples with desire discrepancy
o Communication difficulties
o Difficulty identifying pleasure
o Shame around fantasy
o Emotional disconnection
o Neurodivergence and explicit communication
o Perimenopause/menopause and changing sexuality
• Reading together as a relational ritual
• Audiobooks, scenes, excerpts, and trope exploration
• Ethical considerations and contraindications
Clinical Strategies
• Assigning scenes vs entire books
• Using “third object” discussions
• Curiosity-based questioning
• Tracking physiological and emotional responses
• Helping clients build erotic language
Guided Discussion
• What populations may particularly benefit from this approach?
• When might romance-based interventions NOT be appropriate?
• How can clinicians avoid imposing personal values or preferences?
Activity
Case Conceptualization
Participants work in groups on a fictional case example.
Example:
A couple reports emotional disconnection, difficulty discussing sex, and loss of novelty after having children.
Groups identify:
• Relevant relational themes
• Appropriate romance tropes/books
• Therapeutic prompts
• Risks/considerations
• Potential interventions
Segment 5 — Building Intimacy Through Curiosity, Pleasure, and Shared Fantasy (20 minutes)
Topics
• Curiosity as an antidote to shame and avoidance
• Shared fantasy as co-created intimacy
• Pleasure-centered versus problem-centered approaches
• Emotional safety and erotic flexibility
• Expanding definitions of intimacy
Guided Discussion
• How do couples build erotic curiosity over time?
• What makes fantasy feel emotionally safe?
• How do clinicians help couples tolerate difference in fantasy/desire?
Activity
Guided Reflection Exercise
Participants complete:
“A fantasy or relational dynamic may symbolize…”
Followed by:
• What questions could help deepen exploration?
• How might this conversation strengthen intimacy rather than threaten it?
Closing Integration & Q&A (10 minutes)
Wrap-Up Discussion
• Key takeaways
• What clinicians are excited to try
• Remaining concerns/questions
• Resources and recommended reading
Final Reflection Prompt
“What would shift in therapy if pleasure and fantasy were treated as meaningful sources of information rather than problems to solve?”