You’ve packed up water coolers, grills, sandwiches and drinks. Who will go out and get drunk this weekend? Isn't everybody supposed to do it? Your friends will be making barbecues and going to the beaches. Are you going to be the one to just sit there on the side watching them, saying “I don't drink?”

What happens when they offer you something and they say “Come on what's a little drinking going to do?” You´re already feeling self-conscious so then you feel pressured into taking just one sip. Once you start drinking you take a few more beers or mixed drinks. Not long after, you're drinking just as much as them. Are you worried you won't be part of their crowd anymore if you don't join them? Will they still accept you but either make fun of you or just judge you differently after this if you were determined not to drink?

Everything in moderation is okay but when there's a lot of alcohol and everyone around you is drinking are you able to maintain that standard? Is there discipline at that point?

What about those staying home alone and watching the Nathan's hot dog contest on TV, wishing you had a friend to go to Coney Island Beach with? As you sit there watching thousands of people enjoying themselves, or at least appearing to do so, you begin drinking, one sip at a time. The longer you sit at home and feel sorry for yourselves, the more alcohol you absorb.

If you decide to work on controlling your drinking, then it is up to you to either continue or fall in to peer pressure. I'm not saying it won't be difficult but it's not impossible or even out of the question. What do you do when you have social dinners? Do all your thoughts and feelings go out the window? How do you stay away from unwanted drinks then?

You have to really want to stay away from the alcohol if you'd like to succeed. If you're looking for an invitation and with that you forget about all the reasons you should not be drinking, it will be easy to do so. However, if you really do want to avoid drinking, you have more power than you think. Nobody could make you do anything, ever.

Think about how you will feel the next morning, emotionally and physically. Will you regret rationalizing why that drink was okay? It is true that at a certain number, you no longer remember, but is your choice to allow yourself to get to that point. It is hard to think clearly in the moment which is why you need to decide beforehand what you really want. If you want to get wasted because that is your idea of fun, take responsibility for that decision.

Think about consequences, short and long term. Car accidents are real. The number of police officers always increase significantly. They are not there to get you but to make sure everyone is safe. Part of that is arresting many driving drunk. You may have legal consequences as a result. Hopefully, for those driving under the influence you will not have daily regret of ending someone’s life. It is possible. It does happen. Taxi’s definitely help with this solution. Again, with planning ahead, if you don’t bring your car there, you can’t drive it home. Other outcomes could be being posted all over social media when you act in a way that would normally be embarrassing to you. Today, that is what happens. It is funny for those watching but not the one who is actually taped.

Prove to yourself you could do it! You do not have to go out and get drunk in order to have fun. Try to lighten up without the drinks. Think about why you feel the need to drink, whether the taste or feeling less uptight. And then think about the consequences again. And then make a choice. July fourth weekend could be celebrated with or without alcohol.

Zahavah Selinger, LMHC is a licensed therapist with a private practice located in Crown Heights. She focuses on self-esteem, depression, and anxiety with both children and adults. To set up a free consultation, contact her at zahavahsel@gmail.com or 845-596-1321.

www.zahavahselingerlmhc.com

Zahavah Fishfeld, LMHC is a licensed therapist who focuses on relationships, self-esteem and self growth. She offers a phone consultation as well as sessions in person and through video. Her offices are located in Flatbush and Crown Heights.  She can be reached at 845-596-1321 and  zahavahsel@gmail.com.