Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

January 10th, 2025

Parshat Vayechi not only marks the conclusion to the Sefer of Bereshit, but also the end of Avot’s journey in establishing Bnei Yisrael. As Yaacov Avineu’s life approaches its end, he gathers his sons to bestow upon them his final individualized blessings, and in doing so provides us with a final powerful lesson for eternity.   Yaacov Avineu takes the unique approach by tailoring his words specifically to the character, strengths …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

January 10th, 2025

Dear Therapist:  I have a question I would like to hear your opinion on. I am an American bachur learning in Eretz Yisroel and I share a dirah with 5 other bachurim. In general, we try to keep the dirah clean, including a thorough cleaning once a week. About half a year ago we took in a bachur that apparently has major OCD. Every night after everyone else goes to sleep he gets to work sprayin …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

January 10th, 2025

Dear Therapist: Thank you for allowing us to gain so much from your collective wisdom each week. I'm in my fifties and watch my weight pretty carefully. I have a normal BMI. I avoid all the bad food at my workplace and stick to my healthy diet instead. Shabbos is my day off. My eating habits recently came up in therapy. My therapist felt that I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  She said I should not be limiting my eating this way. S …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

January 9th, 2025

Dear Therapist: My 5th grade boy does not seem to be able to discern between playful teasing and really being bullied. When his friends tease him, his reaction is way out of proportion, which only leads to more problems with his friends because they find his reaction so overblown. My son doesn't seem to get it and complains to me that he is being "bullied." How can I help him see the difference, and get along better with his friends?   Respo …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 10th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses why the Mishna needs to delineate the disqualification of two different kinds of gamblers: one who plays with dice and one who bets on pigeons. This Gemara holds that the reason a gambler is disqualified is that betting is tantamount to theft. How so? Because the person who is betting doesn’t fully commit to losing, and therefore, when the winning bettor collects winnings from the losers, it is essentially …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 10th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses why a career gambler is not trusted as a witness: Rav Sheshes says: Those who play dice are disqualified because they are not involved in settling the world, i.e., in productive occupations that demand hard work. What is this flaw exactly, and why does it disqualify them? Rashi here offers two factors which, combined, lead to a person who cannot be trusted to testify on financial matters because his perception is …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 9th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the concept of Zabl”a, where two litigants choose a judge, and those two judges then select a third. Chaim V’Chessed (124) compares this to the encounter of Chessed (total giving) with Gevurah (strength, boundaries), which manifests Tiferes (compassion and mercy). The idea that stability is achieved through the encounter of two, producing a balanced third, is a recurring pattern throughout the physic …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 8th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the well-known verse in Tehillim (16:8): “I have set Hashem before myself continuously.” Rav Ḥana bar Bizna says that Rabbi Shimon Ḥasida says: One who prays needs to see himself as if the Divine Presence is opposite him, as it is stated: “I have set the Lord always before me” (Psalms 16:8). The simple meaning of this is to visualize, when praying, that one is actually standing before …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 7th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the status of Tamar’s mother, Ma’acha, and whether she was Jewish at the time of Tamar’s conception. Ma’acha was a “Captive Woman,” subject to the laws described in Devarim (21:10–14): When you [an Israelite warrior] take the field against your enemies, and Hashem your God delivers them into your power, and you take some of them captive, and you see among the captives a …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

January 1st, 2025

Parshat Vayigash, nestled in the heart of Yosef’s story, is a powerful account of familial strife, emotional cutoff, and ultimately, the profound journey towards reconciliation. This story not only provides a glimpse into the complexities of human relationships but also offers profound insights into the corrosiveness of emotional cutoff and the transformative power of reconciliation. Parshat Vayigash opens with the words “Vayigas …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 6th, 2025

Our Gemara offers a homiletic analysis of the verse in Mishlei (31:30): "Grace is false, beauty is transient and empty; but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised." At its most straightforward level, this verse teaches us not to be overly captivated by external charm or physical beauty, as they are fleeting and superficial. Instead, it is inner character, particularly the fear of God, that is praiseworthy and enduring. The verse disting …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 5th, 2025

Our Gemara on amud aleph highlights the importance of being sensitive to human nature, even when acting on good intentions. One must always consider how actions will be perceived by others. For example, if the Kohen Gadol suffers a personal loss and is sitting shiva, the Mashuach She-Avar (a former High Priest who temporarily served in the current Kohen Gadol's place, such as during a period of ritual impurity) should not visit him. Despite any g …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 3rd, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses legal exemptions from the obligation to return lost items, focusing on situations where retrieval of the object would conflict with the dignity of the finder: “You shall not see your brother’s ox or his sheep wandering and ignore them; you shall return them to your brother” (Deuteronomy 22:1). The use of the unusual phrase “and ignore them,” rather than a more direct “do not ig …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 3rd, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph describes the careful safeguards implemented in capital cases. To prevent the court from being carried away by an overly zealous and condemning spirit, an extraordinary safeguard is enacted: if all the judges unanimously vote to convict, the defendant is acquitted: "Rav Kahana says: In a Sanhedrin where all the judges saw fit to convict the defendant in a case of capital law, they acquit him. …It is since it is lea …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 2nd, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph describes the process by which the Davidic monarchy determined whether to engage in warfare, once the king proposed this course of action: "The Sages immediately sought advice from Ahithophel to determine whether or not it was appropriate to go to war at that time and how they should conduct themselves; and they consulted the Sanhedrin in order to receive the requisite permission to wage a war under those circumstances; a …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 1st, 2025

Our Gemara discusses how many judges are required to preside over the case of an animal that gores, determining that it requires 23 judges, similar to a human capital case. The Gemara then poses a hypothetical question: What would be the status of an animal that ascended Mount Sinai during the time it was forbidden? The relevant verses describe the temporary sanctity conferred upon Mount Sinai prior to the revelation and the giving of the Torah ( …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 31st, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an incident where Rabbi Zeira initially declined to accept Rabbinic ordination out of humility but later changed his mind based on a particular teaching: Rabbi Zeira would habitually hide himself so that they would not ordain him. He did this because Rabbi Elazar said: "Always be obscure and remain alive," meaning the more humble and unknown you make yourself, the longer you will live. However, when Rabbi Zeira …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

December 27th, 2024

Parshat Miketz, recounts the dramatic rise of Yosef in Egypt, offers a profound exploration of the psychological concept of resilience. Yosef’s journey from being thrown into a pit by his brothers to eventually becoming a high-ranking official in Paroah’s court is a testament to the human capacity to endure and overcome adversity.   The psychological concept of resilience is defined as the ability to bounce back from difficult ex …
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Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.

December 21st, 2024

I recently sat with a client and listened to a recording he’d made of himself, years earlier, playing the guitar and singing the song of his favorite artist. My client and I marveled at how meticulously he’d reproduced the riffs, the tones, and the timing of the artist. My client, who is older than I am, is no longer able to play the guitar; his voice is no longer quite able to hit the notes. It was a bittersweet moment. It highlighte …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 30th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph-Beis recounts the heroic martyrdom of Rabbi Yehuda ben Bava, who defied a Roman decree against ordaining judges, risking his life to ensure the chain of semicha (ordination) originating from Moshe Rabbeinu would not be broken. The Gemara tells the story as follows: “That man will be remembered favorably, and Rabbi Yehuda ben Bava is his name, as had it not been for him… the laws of fines would have ceased to …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 27th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph recounts how the sage Shmuel HaKattan took responsibility in order to spare a colleague from public embarrassment: There was an incident involving Rabban Gamliel, who said to the Sages: “Bring me seven of the Sages early tomorrow morning to the loft designated for convening a court to intercalate the year.” He went to the loft early the next morning and found eight Sages there. Rabban Gamliel said: “Who …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 27th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the scriptural sources for determining the number of judges required to rule on Jewish calendar calculations: The Gemara asks: Corresponding to what was it determined that the intercalation procedure should incorporate these numbers of three, five, and seven judges? …One said: These numbers correspond to the number of Hebrew words in each of the three verses of the priestly benediction (see Bamidbar 6:24&n …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 26th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the status of a person’s ability to testify about himself. We have a general rule that close relatives are disqualified from serving as witnesses for each other. Extending this logic, a person is considered his own close relative and, therefore, cannot give testimony about himself. The Maharal (Gur Aryeh, Bereishis 46:15) expands on this idea, offering a profound insight into the role of the opposite gende …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 25th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph debates whether Moshe’s statement in Devarim (1:17) reflects a hint of arrogance on his part: “And the cause that is too hard for you, you shall bring to me, and I will hear it.” Rabbi Ḥanina, and some say Rabbi Yoshiya, argues that this statement displayed a degree of presumptuousness. As a result, Moshe was later punished… Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak objects to this critique of Moshe. He points …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 24th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph relates one of my all-time favorite Talmudic aphorisms: When our love was strong, we could have slept on a bed that was the width of a sword. Now that our love is not strong, a bed of sixty cubits is not big enough for us. The tone of this aphorism is defeated and pessimistic. It seems to reflect the perspective of an older married person who no longer feels the passion that once animated his relationship. However, the Ge …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

December 18th, 2024

Parshat Vayeshev unfolds a gripping narrative centered around the complex dynamics of the family of Yaacov. A closer examination reveals an intriguing interplay of psychological concepts, particularly birth order and sibling rivalry, as we delve into the lives of Yosef and his brothers. Humorist Sam Levenson wrote, “Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.” While families prepar …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

December 18th, 2024

Dear Therapist: I have heard that people are developing AI therapy and that it could be just as effective as in person therapy. Setting aside for the moment the issues that come along with use of technology, I am wondering if you think this is, or can be, and effective method of therapy?   Response: Your question can be understood from a global perspective or with regard to specific needs for specific people within the context of a therapeut …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 23rd, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis describes Aharon’s character and temperament in comparison to Moshe. Moshe was a lawgiver and valued strict justice and truth. However, Aharon, whose role was not that of a judge, was a lover of peace and a pursuer of peace, and he would apply peace between one person and the other. Ben Yehoyada here notes that the Hebrew word used here, “pursuer of peace,” is more ambiguous sounding than the English tran …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 22nd, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph characterizes the halachic leadership of Babylonia versus Eretz Yisrael: "The verse states: “The scepter shall not depart from Judah nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet until Shiloh comes” (Genesis 49:10). …“The scepter shall not depart from Judah”; these are the Exilarchs in Babylonia, who are empowered by the government and consequently subjugate the Jewish people as with a s …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 20th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the minimum number of walls required for a kosher Succah: "There must be two walls in their standard sense, completely closing each of those two sides, and a third wall, which, based on a halakha transmitted to Moses from Sinai, may measure even as little as one handbreadth." Sefer Daf al Daf quotes two interesting pieces of derush regarding this Halacha. The Alshich (Vayikra 23:33) explains that all the benefit …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 20th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph uses an interesting idiom to describe a certain class of uneducated people, “dwellers on the corner.” This idiom is used to refer to a layperson who might still serve as a judge, assuming the other judges are learned. This idiom for an unlearned person is fascinating because idioms typically do not translate well from one language to another, and certainly not from one culture to another. Yet this idiom is rem …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 19th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the principle that a Jewish court must be structured to avoid gridlock, which is why it always has an odd number of judges. This principle is used to determine the number of judges in various courts. For example, when the Gemara finds scriptural support for a capital court to consist of at least 22 judges, it is automatically assumed that the court must have 23 judges to prevent a tie. The Oholei Yitschok raises …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 18th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph references how the sages were careful to enact ordinances that protected purchasers from unknown liens and repossessions. However, they balanced this with a need for reasonable mechanisms for creditors to collect debt so as not to discourage people from lending. Additionally, there is a mitzvah incumbent upon the heirs to pay debts from the estate of the deceased, as discussed on 174a. The Pele Yoetz ("Loveh") employs bot …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 17th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph references a social and psychological principle that a person is reluctant to appear excessively wealthy. This has halakhic implications, as it may lead a person on his deathbed to declare fictional debts in front of others in order to give the impression of having fewer assets, even though he does not actually owe them. As a safeguard, halakha requires specific language that clearly directs the debt to be paid, rather th …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

December 12th, 2024

In Parshat Vayishlach, we witness Yaacov Avinu’s dramatic encounter with his brother Esav after years of separation. The passuk says “Vayyira ya'akov me'od – Yaacov was greatly frightened,” (Genesis 32:8) when hearing that Esav was coming to see him. The Chizkuni tells us that Yaakov feared that although he had sent a conciliatory message to Esav, he was afraid that through some inadvertent sin he might have committed rece …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

December 18th, 2024

Will I Marry the Right Person? Exploring the Big Question Marriage is one of life’s most significant commitments, yet it often comes with uncertainty. In the latest episode of Intimate Judaism, hosts Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn tackle this profound and relatable question: Will I marry the right person? As they point out, there are no guarantees. Even with careful thought and preparation, the complexities of life and relationships …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 17th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis recounts the story of a person in dire financial straits who devised a plan to improve his situation, only for unforeseen circumstances to derail it. Reflecting on this, the Gemara uses the aphorism: “Poverty follows the impoverished person.” Similarly, in Bava Kamma 92a, the sages observe a poignant inequality: wealthy individuals who brought their first fruits to the Temple in gold and silver baskets were per …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 15th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis quotes a series of verses from Mishlei (6:1-3), which caution against the dangers of becoming a cosigner for another’s debt: son, if you have stood surety for your fellow, Given your hand for another, You have been trapped by the words of your mouth, Snared by the words of your mouth. Do this, then, my son, to extricate yourself, For you have come into the power of your fellow: Go grovel—and badger your fellow. …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 13th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis explores a situation involving two people with identical names, as well as fathers with identical names. This creates a significant problem in the absence of last names, as the culture of the Talmud relied on patronymic identification—“son of so-and-so.” The Gemara chooses the example of “Yosef ben Shimon” to illustrate the issue. This choice of names has piqued the curiosity of many commentat …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 13th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis quotes Rabbi Ḥanina bar Pappi, who expresses his profound reverence for Rav and Shmuel with a striking metaphor: “Who will give us some of the dust of Rav and Shmuel, and I will place it on my eyes, so highly do I regard them.” At first glance, the notion of putting dust in one’s eyes seems puzzling as an expression of honor. To understand this, we must look to a related account in Sanhedrin 47b, which …
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